If you are a child of the 70's and 80's like me you may know a few of these things too, but humor me... As a product of the RULES books of the 90's I wanted to impart some NEW RULES, But this time for MOMS!
I am raising a family in the age of instant gratification, excess and technology. And though technology has its advantages with the convenience it offers, as moms we must stand up and fight FOR our kids and FOR the family. So here are a few RULES I've put together for moms that should help.
Preface with GOD... And lots of LOVE.
(1) Put face-to-face interaction FIRST!- in this age of technology, where everyone has his or her head in a screen, it's important that we set boundaries for ourselves and our families. We have a docking station where all of our devices land at 8 o'clock and they aren't touched for the duration of the evening. With six kids under 15, this is the best way to limit the tech time in the evenings that the kids have. We also make an effort to watch shows WITH our kids if and when we have time to watch TV.
(2) Touch- be sure you connect with your kids through touch. I'm not talking creeper touch, I'm talking a hug, a kiss, a touch on the arm. They just need that...
(3) Connect- telling the kids you're proud of them is one thing, but connecting with them in a common interest is essential... Even if it's something you're not "usually" in to. Do it for them, they'll eat it up!
(4) OfferEtiquette- I'm no Lauren Conrad, Martha Stewart or Emily Post, but we can't forget our kids when it comes to teaching them how to be well mannered. Teach them to sit still, ask for things nicely and to have good table manners.
I had an etiquette coach in middle school (she was our English teacher and did this as an elective once per semester) when I was young and I still remember learning which fork is which and how to shake hands. These are skills we need to be someone who was socially adept and could go out to a nice dinner without embarrassing ourselves.
(5) Impart Wisdom- tell them YOUR story.
My kids love it when we share stories of our childhoods and experiences from our lives. They love hearing stories about places we've been and things we've seen. Unplug and talk to your kids. They love that.
(6) Give up control- teach them. I know it takes longer to teach someone to do something rather than do it yourself, but your kids will be more self sufficient end the end if you loosen the reins and let them do things for themselves.
(7) Realize that perfection is a Myth- forget about being "Pinterest Perfect" and learn that good enough is pretty darn good when your juggling the duties of a modern day mom. Believe me, Pinterest is fun, but I look at it like a modern day magazine. You can't possibly do all those things, but the pictures sure are pretty to look at. Be yourself and be imperfect. Just being PRESENT is the biggest and only gift they need.
(8) Let them it's okay be little- kindergarteners are learning at a faster and faster pace, everyone is trying to be sure our kids have a competitive edge in this country and I understand. But that said, we mustn't forget that we need to allow them to just be kids and just allow them to run, jump, play in the rain and just be. That's the stuff they'll remember.
(9) Teach Home Management- okay this one is for ALL the kids and speaks to the perfectionism I touched on earlier. Don't strive to perfection, but teach your children to wash their own clothes, wash their own dishes, clean up after meals and help out. This isn't merely a survival skill for big families, but the goal is to raise them to be productive adults, not productive needy leeches, right? So let's teach them to keep their spaces, K??
(10) Teach Competitiveness- in the age when "everybody wins" it is imperative that we teach our children to be competitive yet how to be a GOOD SPORT when they lose and when they win! Being competitive means competing against yourself too. Teach the kids the term "personal best", so they can be the best version of themselves.
What things do you do for your kids to help them be productive ADULTS? leave a comment below.
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Until next time have a great day!
Jodi
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