Monday, March 25, 2013

Motherly Advice to having step ONE: FAITH

I am jumping out on a limb here, but I wanted to share this with you.

Faith is more than believing that something will happen. It's wholeheartedly placing the trust of things we cannot control to another. I want to talk about Faith in two areas. Faith in God, and faith in others.

The God thing...

Faith is more than the hope that we should all have in the cause effect relationship that exists as a result of certain actions. If I do "A" then "B" is logically to follow. No, it's more than that. It's having faith that even if I fail to do "A", I have faith that I am not alone. I have faith that there is a pervasive force at work in my life that will help all the pieces fall together. By Jesus' witness, I know that I am not alone, no mater what. He is with me, I just have to allow Him to be there.

Faith in Others...

How many times have you looked at your life and said, "I am such a mess, how could anyone love me?". For most of us these doubts started to creep in during our teen/preteen years when we started to question everything. This self doubt has, for some people, entered into our adult lives, and as mothers, it can be very destructive. It can tear apart our families because we don't trust, knowing that they will be there for us like we are there for them. I submit that you should trust your family with your whole heart. All of it. Realizing that I made many mistakes with my first marriage, having since relinquished control in my life to God, and trusting in Him to work things out for good. And, having wholeheartedly placed my trust in Jesus Christ, I am now able to fully and completely surrender to my husband without remorse or worry. I know that he is worthy of my trust, and even when i worry that he may fall short, part of God's promise in the marriage covenant is that we should trust our spouse because that is what God intends for us as a couple. Complete trust.

As far as FAITH, once we have faith in God, and our spouse, the next step is sharing that faith with others. The best and most obvious way to do this is to witness by the life we lead so that people will know who we are. This sharing may also come from blogging (like me) or from conversations with people. it's important that we share what we know, especially with our children and invite them to learn more for themselves. We should always be EXTREMELY careful to avoid hypocrisy. Don't cram your beliefs down someone's throat and be sure you lead an honest life with integrity. Show people grace.

Have faith.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Motherly Advice in SIX EASY STEPS!

The last few months have again gone by in a WOOSH.... But now that we're moved, and settled into the new casa I thought it would be prudent to give some motherly advice. I have been mom to SIX beautiful children now for over a year. Though we're a huge, happy, blended family and we're not without our flaws, for the most part things are going very well. Two in Junior High, two in Elementary in and two in preschool. We have a house full!

The intention of this blog is to offer a little window into my life and hopefully serve as a mentor to other moms facing family blending issues as well as medical challenges that we are facing in the wake of two diagnoses over the last few years. So here's my best advice....

If you believe in something, believe in it with your whole heart. Worship your God. Grow in the teachings of your religion and share those beliefs with your children. They will remember what you do and only about 50% of what you say, so go to worship, charitable events and show them that you believe in giving back.

2. LIVE.
Sounds simple, but may come as a surprise that most of us aren't out there LIVING. Put down the I-device or computer and GET OUT THERE! That's one gift that has been awarded me by my wonderful husband and children. I used to get so wrapped up in things that I forgot the one essential component to life; and that's to LIVE. Get out there. Coach the soccer team, run a race, draw on the concrete with sidewalk chalk, do things with your kids. Fly a kite. LIVE. Life isn't a dress rehearsal, make this life count!

The greatest gift you can give yourself and your family is forgiveness. But, forgiveness shouldn't be reserved for those who are closest to you. We all have deep scars from things that happened to us a long time ago or are currently happening. I encourage you to forgive. Do it now. Don't do it for the person that wronged you, do it for yourself! And... the other component of forgiveness, is asking for forgiveness when we mess up. Where would I be if my family didn't forgive my shortcomings and love me anyway? Nowhere, that's where I'd be, because I'm certainly far from perfect.

When S was diagnosed with a cancer-like disease, we thought we were facing a doom and gloom scenario. That's not at all how it's played out. I assure you if we didn't have hope, we'd be lost. I have hope that my kids will all grow up to be strong and healthy, contributing to society with their thoughts and actions as adults. I can visualize their lives. I encourage you to practice closing your eyes and trying to envision what your children will look like as adults. Don't push them to be YOU. Push them to be the best (insert their name here) that they can be!

"Anything worth having is worth working for!" How many times did I hear that old adage growing up? Well this one is so true. When you think about your life, your debts, your problems, your fears, many of them can be helped with a little work. Whether it's time management, those last few pesky pounds or paying off debts, we must WORK for what we want in life. Nothing is going to be handed to us. And if you get organized and do the work, you'll reap the rewards!

6. REST.
Sleep deprivation is hard to avoid sometimes, but I encourage you to REST. Take time for yourself, get a manicure, massage, or take a weekend away or a date night with your significant other. You will reap the words by being a more balanced Momma.

More soon... "Motherly Advice to having Step One: FAITH"